Signs You Need A Break & (How to Stop Feeling Guilty About it!)
Do you ever feel guilty about taking time off from work?
Are you fed up with the rise-and-grind “24/7 hustle culture” mentality?
Well, my friend, you are not alone.
Millions of people have quit their jobs in the past year alone, and many of us are seeking ways to pay the bills without sacrificing our mental health. While rest and flexible work have become popular topics of conversation, embracing rest seems a lot harder than it sounds.
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If you’re on the road to burnout (or already going through it), you may have experienced the following:
1) Vacation Guilt
According to a 2019 article by Gina Vaynshteyn, "24% of Gen Z employees admitted that they feel guilty taking a vacation from work. That’s compared to 19% of millennials, 16% Gen X, and only 8% of Baby Boomers" (source: Apartment Therapy).
A Priceline survey found that “47% of Gen Z felt pressured to check their work email or phones while on vacation,” and “40% of millennials felt that way, too."
Sure, we could we chalk up our collective guilt to a toxic workplace environment—or our own workaholicism.
But whatever the root cause, if you constantly have to cross personal boundaries for work, then eventually you are going to resent it.
Alice Katter, founder of Out of Office discusses the differences between European vacation culture and American vacation culture in a recent newsletter. She writes: "In the US, there is no minimum state or federal paid vacation. Whereas in some European countries, employees can enjoy as many as 38 paid days off each year.” In addition, “Half of Americans actually haven’t gone on vacation in a year, while almost four in 10 haven’t gone on vacation for two years."
That sounds about right to me.
Where I’m from, the unspoken belief is that a vacation is something to be earned. And if you don't produce a certain level of output—or go above and beyond what is required of you—then you don't deserve a vacation. (Because heaven forbid you hop on that plane to Turks and Caicos without having worked overtime!)
2) Revenge bedtime procrastination
Vacation guilt is hardly the only byproduct of our work-obsessed, rest-devaluing culture. You may have heard of a thing called revenge bedtime procrastination, which according to Psychology Today, refers to “the willingness to forgo sleep in order to have a few more minutes of downtime.” In other words, it’s like a personal act of defiance against long work hours.
(I’m definitely guilty of this myself.)
3) Productivity Dysmorphia
A term coined by Writer Anna Codrea-Rado, productivity dysmorphia is "the disconnect between what you’ve objectively achieved and your feelings about it.”
As Codrea-Rado puts it, this specific type of dysmorphia "sits at the intersection of burnout, imposter syndrome, and anxiety." (source)
Essentially, you have achieved a lot professionally, but you feel as though you haven’t done enough and you don’t get to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
A gentle reminder for the weary soul…
The above are just a few of the many warning signs of burnout. But the point of this blog post is not to make you feel bad about yourself. It’s to help you reroute and maybe even do a little deprogramming. (I’m working on this too, believe me.)
As I started researching the topic for this blog post, I caught myself making a mental checklist of ways to rest "productively.” That’s when a little light bulb went off in my head. Rest is not the opposite of work!
Rest undoubtedly boosts our productivity, but thinking about rest only as a means to an end—rather than an end in itself—is potentially problematic. If anything, the underlying motivation (i.e. “to be more productive”) is a testament to our culture’s obsession with output. We see rest as a requirement for work, rather than a necessity for a healthy lifestyle in general.
How to embrace rest like a boss:
Ok so we’ve defined “rest” as “rest” and not as a reward for productivity. But what else can we do? I’m still trying to figure this out for myself, but on the individual level, here are some suggestions :
1) Stop bragging about being busy.
I’ll admit, I’ve 100% worn my lack of sleep as a badge of honor. Sometimes I don’t think I even do this intentionally. I throw the word “busy” around so often that it has become a part of my daily vernacular. But who knows? Maybe if I stop engaging in revenge bedtime procrastination, I’ll start bragging about how much sleep I got instead…
2) Stop trying to monetize all of your hobbies.
Over the summer, I realized that most of my passion projects had become an avenue for potential profit. This ended up sucking the joy out of all of my so-called hobbies.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t start a side hustle or make money from your passions (clearly, I still do). But we should also pursue activities that bring us joy without any financial pressures attached.
(This, again, is more a note to myself than anyone else.)
3) Revive your hobbies or find a new one (i.e. something that makes you engage with the physical world).
A few months ago, I decided to enroll in drum lessons while I was away on vacation in Seoul.
Was I any good? Not really. But regardless, I had so much fun, and I realized just how much I missed having a physical hobby to look forward to each week. (This comes from someone who spends 90% of her day on the computer).
In the book Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport writes:
"When you use craft to leave the virtual world of the screen and instead begin to work in more complex ways with the physical world around you, you're living truer to your primal potential. Craft makes us human, and in doing so, it can provide deep satisfactions that are hard to replicate in other (dare I say) less hands-on activities."
4) Carve out time for silence & solitude.
Make solitude a regular part of your routine whether you’re on vacation or not! Whether you decide to take a walk by yourself or to journal in silence, we all need some time alone to step back and process our emotions. Solitude allows us to come to our own insights without the influence of those around us. Even if it’s only for 10 minutes a day, turn off that podcast episode, put away the phone, and do what you need to do to spend some time alone with your mind.
5) Reevaluate your relationship with time.
A lot of us struggle with feeling as though we never have enough time. Some of us fill up our daily schedules to the brim but go to bed still feeling as though we didn’t get anything done.
But why exactly do we feel this way?
In a recent Instagram live, entrepreneur Marie Forleo explained: “Overwhelm is actually a function of a lack of clarity. If you don’t have clarity on what’s most important (at this stage and season of your life), it's really easy to slip into this mistaken idea that everything is equally important."
She goes on to ask, “What are some things you are doing out of obligation but don't actually need to do?”
If you want to prioritize rest, you have to make some trade-offs. Maybe it’s time to scale back your to-do list and say “no” to certain obligations. I know it's easier said than done, but work less. You can't and don’t have to do it all.
6) Take your vacation and milk it!
Studies show that vacations increase cognitive flexibility (aka your brain’s ability to combine raw ideas).
Research has also shown that "both meditation exercises and vacationing were associated with higher levels of well-being and increased mindfulness” (source: Forbes).
So I don’t know about you, but I think you could use that vacation. Whether you’re seeking to relax and unwind or go on an adventure, lean into it. See your vacation as an opportunity to relinquish control and walk away from your everyday routine.
7) Don't just rest to be productive. Rest because it's good for you!
Full stop.
So how have you been prioritizing rest and relaxation?
Is your sense of self-worth to your level of output?
Leave your thoughts in the comments below!